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发表于 2010-4-1 00:48:28
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A few months ago I decided to write my memoirs, a project I knew was going to bring me closer to an amazing turning point in my life. From the moment I wrote the first phrase I was sure the book was the tool that was going to help me free myself from things I was carrying within me for a long time. Things that  were too heavy for me to keep inside. Writing this account of my life, I got very close to my truth. And thisis something worth celebrating.
几个月前，我决定写我的传记，我早知道这将会带我走近生命中的一个重大转折点。从我写下第一句话那刻起，我就深信这本书将是一个帮我从长久以来的负担中解脱出来的工具。这负担沉重的不能继续深锁于内心了。对于我生活中的这一段描写几近乎是我所有的事实， 并且是值得庆祝的。
For many years, there has been only one place where I am in touch with my emotions fearlessly and that's the stage. Being on stage fills my soul in many ways, almost completely. It's my vice.  The music, the lights and the roar of the audience are elements that make me feel capable of anything.
多年以来，只有一个地方能使我勇敢的去感触自己的激情，那就是舞台。在舞台上我可以感受到我内心的不同层面，几乎是淋漓尽致的。舞台是我的毒品。音乐，灯光，观众的呼喊让我觉得我是那么的无所不能。
This rush of adrenaline is incredibly addictive.  I don't ever want to stop feeling these emotions. But it is serenity that brings me to where I'm at right now. An amazing emotional place of comprehension, reflection and enlightenment. At this moment I'm feeling the same freedom I usually feel only on stage, without a doubt, I need to share.
这种热血沸腾的感受是那么的上瘾。我永远也不会厌倦这种激情，然而却是如禅定般的平静使我成为了现在的我自己，拥有美妙精神境界，可以让我理解，深思并悟透（生命的意义）。此刻我能感受到只有在舞台上才能体会到的自在，毋宁质疑的我要和大家分享。
Many people told me: "Ricky it's not important", "it's not worth it", "all the years you've worked and everything you've built will collapse", "many people in the world are not ready to accept your truth, your reality, your nature". Because all this advice came from people who I love dearly, I decided to move on with my life not sharing with the world my entire truth.  Allowing myself to be seduced by fear and insecurity became a self-fulfilling prophecy of sabotage. Today I take full responsibility for my decisions and my actions.
许多人告诫我，“马丁，那时不重要的，” “不值得的，” “多年来悉心努力营造的都要化为泡影，” “在这个世界上会有很多人还不可以接受你的真话，你的事实，你的性取向”。 因为所有的这些告诫都是来自深爱着我的人，所以决定不全透露给这个世界关于我的一切所有。 允许恐惧和不安全感征服自己，从而使声名狼藉的预言成为一种自赎的满足。今天我对我的决定我的行动负全部责任。
If someone asked me today, "Ricky, what are you afraid of?" I would answer "the blood that runs through the streets of countries at war...child slavery, terrorism...the cynicism of some people in positions of power, the misinterpretation of faith." But fear of my truth? Not at all!  On the contrary, It fills me with strength and courage. 倘若有人今天问我，“马丁，你有什么可担心的？” 我将回答 ：“鲜血流淌在战乱国家中的街道上...奴役儿童，恐怖主义...一些当权者的玩世不恭，对信仰的误解。” 担心自己的真实情况 （被泄露）吗？绝对不。正相反，它给我勇气和力量。
This is just what I need especially now that I am the father of two beautiful boys that are so full of light and who with their outlook teach me new things every day.
这正是我需要的，尤其眼下我已是两个可爱男孩的父亲，这使我的生活充满了光明，从他们的眼光里我每天都学到新的东西。
to be continued. |
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